Battle Armoire
by Panny Pancake
Summary: Two ladies of taste (in one sense or another) clash over the particulars of costume design. (Kanaya/Terezi blackrom)


"Terezi, please hold still, you're making this unnecessarily difficult."

"See, I don't think I am." You shift again, just a little. Just enough to be _really_ annoying. "I think we would all find this less difficult if you stuck to your end of the bargain."

"I _am_ holding up my end of the bargain," and ooooh, there you go. That's definitely Kanaya's I-want-to-strangle-you-with-my-sash-but-I-won't-because-I'm-pretending-to-be-nice voice. You've really done it now. "Your FLARP group requested costumes accurate to the time period Aradia selected for your next game. I am attempting to meet _your_ specifications. I would be done already if _you_ would let me work."

"My 'specifications' involve something I can actually FLARP _in_. I can barely move in this thing and all these frills are probably a safety hazard."

"Everyone else was fine with my work."

"Aradia _would_ be." Aradia probably thought her wriggling day had come early.

"_Vriska _was fine with my work."

Wow, you honestly didn't think that Kanaya had the guts to go that hard this early. You're kind of impressed. To show it, you start cackling. You know it's probably only pissing her off more, so you laugh harder than is strictly necessary.

"Oh Kanaya, I think we both know which one of us really cares what _Vriska_ thinks."

Ow, _shit_! Okay, she definitely poked you on purpose there. You tell her that you absolutely know that that was on purpose.

"I'm afraid that I don't know what you're talking about." There's smugness practically oozing from her voice.

And then she pokes you again.

"You know what I can't stand about you?" You're getting kind of fed up now. You'd planned on playing a long game, but Kanaya's too good at sucking all the fun out of everything. "You don't even try to be direct because you'd much rather stand around twisting your skirts and hoping that somebody notices when you're upset. Except when they actually do notice, you just deny it and then get pissy when they take you at your word."

"That's actually quite funny, coming from you." And now she's pulling the fabric around your waist _way_ too tight to be anywhere near comfortable. You let out an involuntary _oomph_. "I'm given to believe that you fancy yourself quite the manipulator."

"Oh, I'm very direct." You carefully ignore the fact that she's definitely adding more ruffles now. "I'm just direct _with finesse_. Very different from your passive-aggressive sniping."

"Vriska strikes me as much more direct in her manipulations than you are." Again with Vriska. She's really trying hard to work this angle. Poor, terribly misinformed Kanaya...

"There's a difference between being direct and charging through life with all the grace of a newborn hoofbeast. Serket only acts the way she does because she doesn't have half the skill I do. She doesn't know how to get people to do what she wants without forcing them into it. The only reason she's got you wrapped around her finger is because you're too willing to be a pushover. She's a bully because she's not smart enough to be anything else, but you're way too much of an asshole to be this much of a coward."

She basically yanks the stool out from under you, but by that point you see it coming and land as gracefully as you can before you start changing back into your regular (and much less mortifying) clothing.

"I don't know who you think you're fooling, Terezi Pyrope, but it's not me." You mentally pat yourself on the back for breaking her composure this thoroughly in such a short amount of time. "It's incredibly obvious that you're waxing black for Vriska."

"Kanaya, only one of us is hung up on Vriska in _any_ quadrant and it's not me." You're at the doorway by now, the perfect set up for your perfect exit. You are nothing if not a lady of details. "I told you, didn't I? It's _you_ that I can't stand."

See? Direct.

* * *

It's about a week later that you get the note, attached to an outfit that looks nothing like the one that Kanaya had you fitted for (it actually looks kind of cool).

Terezi

It Appears That Despite My Assumptions About Your Proclivities You Have Spent  
Considerable Time Watching Me And I Must Admit That I Am Intrigued

I Would Be Willing To Reassess My Initial Impressions Of You

Perhaps Over Dinner Together Tomorrow

Do Not Be Late And Do Wear Something Appropriate

The Dress Code Is Semi-Formal So I Expect You To Make Some Effort

Is That Quite Direct Enough For You

You do kind of wish that Kanaya had asked you out in person so that you could tell her that you don't "watch" anybody, but you're practically salivating over the thought of what colourful monstrosity of an outfit she might wear on a date so you can't be too bothered.

You're pretty excited to pick out an outfit that will exceed her expectations, though.


End file.
